You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
