i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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