You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
