Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
