yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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