Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
