I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
