Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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