Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
