I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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