You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
