haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
