this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
