his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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