I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He called his prostate his "boner button".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
