She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
