Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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