Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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