Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Holy shit dude........stairs
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