This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
