We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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