My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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