Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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