he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
