he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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