My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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