hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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