I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
