Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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