haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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