i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
