tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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