he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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