Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
