just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
