he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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