a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
