Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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