Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Randomize
