just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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