woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
