Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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