We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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