She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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