I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
