i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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