if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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