Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
