Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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