so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
