I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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