I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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