a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
