I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sext me about skeletons
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
