hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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