No awkward lesbian experiences without me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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