just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
