If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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