it wasn't lemon gatorade
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
