I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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