Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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