it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
