Got a toothbrush?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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