does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
